Smoking your kind of cigarettes to feel like you still even exist is just all too stupid, isn’t it?
1. When you left, my heart went missing, I’ve been looking for it in drugs and boys who don’t know my name
2. I know you kissed her at that party while I was locked in the bathroom crying, I hope you tasted me on her mouth
3. I thought I saw you in the supermarket and I started shaking so hard someone had to ask me if I was okay (I wasn’t)
4. I can’t say your name without feeling like I’m gonna throw up
5. I hear your voice in my head all the time I think I’m going crazy
6. Can words break your ribs?
7. I wanna slit my wrists and watch my blood spill into your bones, I hope you drown in it
8. Jesus christ it’s been 6 months and my throat still burns when I think about you
9. I miss you but I’m gonna keep pretending I don’t
That’s what really scares me.
Falling in love is easy. Having sex is easier. But bumping into someone that can spark your soul - that shit is rare.
You could fuck four, five, all the people in a god damned room and you’d only feel a connection with one. Or none at all.
And what sucks is despite the undeniable real magnetic pull between the two of you, more often than not, you don’t end up together.
I’m afraid I won’t meet anyone else I can connect with.
I’m scared it’ll be just you.
How to feel better about yourself:
1. Sleep without underwear every once and a while, it’s good for you. Maybe even try sleeping naked.
2. Take long baths with tea, ice cream, or whatever you please. Throw in bubbles if that’s your style.
3. Look at yourself like you look at your best friend. Find the freckles you love, what your eyes look best with, what hairstyle compliments your smile.
4. When you look at your naked body in the mirror, only think good things. Say compliments to yourself aloud. Watch yourself smile, and encourage yourself.
5. Take yourself out on a date. Treat yourself to the things you love. You’re alone yes, but there is nothing wrong with that. Remember all the times you were smothered by people and talking crowds, and you only wanted to be alone with yourself.
6. Write yourself a love note. Tell yourself your favorite things about you, and tell yourself all the things you want to become. Tell yourself you’ll love you forever.
7. Take pictures of yourself. Selfies are magnificent! Take 500! Take them everywhere! Find the good lighting! Pick your favorite one and realize what a wonderful work of art you are.
8. Acknowledge your accomplishments, all of them. Got out of bed? It’s hard sometimes and it’s been hard before, so honestly great job. Drink lots of water, and at the end of the day congratulate yourself for staying hydrated. Let yourself know when you are proud, and soak up the feeling of “well done”.
i followed my heart and it led me into the fridge